Sunday, 29 November 2015

Strong Weakness : You didn't create yourself

I was excited when he agreed to share his own effeminate story. Though he hadn't approved that the story be published with his name, his writing the story still mattered much. He is one of the very few effeminate people who has been able to distinguish themselves, setting himself apart and not letting the effeminate thingy get on his way. I would commend his family, especially his late father for their support, at least not every effeminate person gets that. His story is short and doesn't have a lot of lament but it was able to pass the message that not every effeminate person is gay. It also was able to encourage effeminate people to keep on keeping on. I am sure you would enjoy this story. 
After God created the earth, he needed someone to take care of it, and he told the trinity, 'Let's create MAN in our own image'. (Forgive me, I'm not a bible student), when ADAM came, he didn't come in two forms, he came in a man with dick and chest. Fit for all. The woman eve was inside of him. There are lots of effeminate men who are doing extremely well in our society, married with kids, have their careers going on well.

I grew up in a place where effeminism was seen as a laughable and a mockery for men. My father who worked with one of the then popular oil companies never wanted to hear that I was called 'woman man' or 'woman wrapper', he'd kill you. That covered me, I was so loved by my sweet mum, well I could do a lot of things to make her happy. In our family activitites, I could give the best female traditional dancer a run for her wriggle waist. Yeah, I could dance so well, especially the traditional dance. Of course, it's noted that in Rivers state, the men could dance too, I was one of them and that made my mum proud. Loved by the ladies, and who says effeminates don't fall in love with female folks? I did! I had real relationships, slept with women, even more than the straight looking muscular boys around me. In my feminity, my friends and my younger brother never wanted me close to their girl friends. In my feminity, girls asked me out, in my feminity I led groups as a young boy. 

From my primary education to secondary education, I had challenges of mingling with dudes, the ladies were my besties. I tried loving football but, it didn't work for me. I was seen as a 'second class' boy. Smh. I remember walking down the street one good afternoon, on my way to church and I never knew I pulled a whole street together looking at me, till a church brother ran to me and tapped me, asking that I stayed at one side for a while. While I did that, I hated myself, many questions ran through my mind and I asked God if I had created myself. Did I create myself? 

Or was it the attempted rape? Or the stunts I couldn't do that made me a laughing stock. Whereas my younger brother was seen as 'Jackie Chan' in my street, I was seen as the 'Onyeka Onwenu'. Little bullying made me cry, sad and bittered. They would gather in a field and take turns to stunt, lift themselves and summersault, making both back and front flips. My younger brother was one of the highest rated in the game back then in the late 90's. When it gets to my turn, I would be laughed at. I would be hailed as 'woman man' or 'woman wrapper'. Then a few guys would come talk the shit out of me and encourage me to try and keep trying. While struggling with fear, sadness, and subtle tears, I would try and fail. My younger brother would bring up a fight with his mates, cos he was a 'strong man'. They'd apologise. After the whole scene, I'd seat alone in the field and keep asking how I came into this world effeminate. 

I was still that soft girlie guy when my dad later passed on. Let's not go there. I got into the university where I forced myself to mingle with 'firm' guys. But I was selective. You must gain my qualitites for frienship which were good brain, good looks and good dress sense. I got to be a course representative, yeah! So everybody was at my table, that helped me. Achievements started coming. 

When I got into modelling I was forced to work on myself. I made a name for myself. I got my face on magazines, calendars, and I even featured in local soap operas. I was known round school. I made new friends who believed in me. I led several organisations, even in church. I would speak and people listen. I also anchored red carpet shows, sat and met with voices and people that mattered. So, presently, people only talk behind my back in jealousy and envy. And some of them wish that they can be like me. But it's too late. I'm taking over. I even instruct some of their younger siblings, cousins, relatives or who ever they may damn be. I rule in my world. I am respected and I get called, 'boss' or 'sir'. That's who I am. I am not scared and at the same time I don't go looking for trouble. But, I don't allow intimidations from anyone. This is my message. Don't let them pick on you, and don't cry back home because of them. Stand up and let your voice be heard. You didn't create yourself, God did. Live your life to the fullest and be sure to block your ear with some good earphones and cover your eyes with some nice shades.


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