Sunday, 29 November 2015

Strong Weakness : You didn't create yourself

I was excited when he agreed to share his own effeminate story. Though he hadn't approved that the story be published with his name, his writing the story still mattered much. He is one of the very few effeminate people who has been able to distinguish themselves, setting himself apart and not letting the effeminate thingy get on his way. I would commend his family, especially his late father for their support, at least not every effeminate person gets that. His story is short and doesn't have a lot of lament but it was able to pass the message that not every effeminate person is gay. It also was able to encourage effeminate people to keep on keeping on. I am sure you would enjoy this story. 
After God created the earth, he needed someone to take care of it, and he told the trinity, 'Let's create MAN in our own image'. (Forgive me, I'm not a bible student), when ADAM came, he didn't come in two forms, he came in a man with dick and chest. Fit for all. The woman eve was inside of him. There are lots of effeminate men who are doing extremely well in our society, married with kids, have their careers going on well.

I grew up in a place where effeminism was seen as a laughable and a mockery for men. My father who worked with one of the then popular oil companies never wanted to hear that I was called 'woman man' or 'woman wrapper', he'd kill you. That covered me, I was so loved by my sweet mum, well I could do a lot of things to make her happy. In our family activitites, I could give the best female traditional dancer a run for her wriggle waist. Yeah, I could dance so well, especially the traditional dance. Of course, it's noted that in Rivers state, the men could dance too, I was one of them and that made my mum proud. Loved by the ladies, and who says effeminates don't fall in love with female folks? I did! I had real relationships, slept with women, even more than the straight looking muscular boys around me. In my feminity, my friends and my younger brother never wanted me close to their girl friends. In my feminity, girls asked me out, in my feminity I led groups as a young boy. 

From my primary education to secondary education, I had challenges of mingling with dudes, the ladies were my besties. I tried loving football but, it didn't work for me. I was seen as a 'second class' boy. Smh. I remember walking down the street one good afternoon, on my way to church and I never knew I pulled a whole street together looking at me, till a church brother ran to me and tapped me, asking that I stayed at one side for a while. While I did that, I hated myself, many questions ran through my mind and I asked God if I had created myself. Did I create myself? 

Or was it the attempted rape? Or the stunts I couldn't do that made me a laughing stock. Whereas my younger brother was seen as 'Jackie Chan' in my street, I was seen as the 'Onyeka Onwenu'. Little bullying made me cry, sad and bittered. They would gather in a field and take turns to stunt, lift themselves and summersault, making both back and front flips. My younger brother was one of the highest rated in the game back then in the late 90's. When it gets to my turn, I would be laughed at. I would be hailed as 'woman man' or 'woman wrapper'. Then a few guys would come talk the shit out of me and encourage me to try and keep trying. While struggling with fear, sadness, and subtle tears, I would try and fail. My younger brother would bring up a fight with his mates, cos he was a 'strong man'. They'd apologise. After the whole scene, I'd seat alone in the field and keep asking how I came into this world effeminate. 

I was still that soft girlie guy when my dad later passed on. Let's not go there. I got into the university where I forced myself to mingle with 'firm' guys. But I was selective. You must gain my qualitites for frienship which were good brain, good looks and good dress sense. I got to be a course representative, yeah! So everybody was at my table, that helped me. Achievements started coming. 

When I got into modelling I was forced to work on myself. I made a name for myself. I got my face on magazines, calendars, and I even featured in local soap operas. I was known round school. I made new friends who believed in me. I led several organisations, even in church. I would speak and people listen. I also anchored red carpet shows, sat and met with voices and people that mattered. So, presently, people only talk behind my back in jealousy and envy. And some of them wish that they can be like me. But it's too late. I'm taking over. I even instruct some of their younger siblings, cousins, relatives or who ever they may damn be. I rule in my world. I am respected and I get called, 'boss' or 'sir'. That's who I am. I am not scared and at the same time I don't go looking for trouble. But, I don't allow intimidations from anyone. This is my message. Don't let them pick on you, and don't cry back home because of them. Stand up and let your voice be heard. You didn't create yourself, God did. Live your life to the fullest and be sure to block your ear with some good earphones and cover your eyes with some nice shades.


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Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Up and Coming : Omeelin

Omeelin is the way to go when it comes to good music.  This young and passionate fast rising music artiste and fashion designer spared me some time to discuss his passion and love for music.   I am sure you would enjoy the read. Meanwhile, follow the link, to download 'makoli', Omeelin's hit song and do well to anticipate 'eriwe agwuagwu', still from Omeelin very soon. You can also watch Omeelin perform at
About yourself: I am Omeen Omeelin Anunobi from Akwaeze in Anaocha LGA of Anambra state. I'm an artist, I sing, I dance, I am a fashion designer, I also write.  

How long have you been in music? : I have been into music for long now, but started going public in 2013.  

Have you always wanted to do music? : Yes, of course it has been my dream to do music.
At what point did you decide to go into music? : I decided to go public  between 2012 and 2013.
What do you think of the Nigeria music industry? : The Nigeria music industry is really doing very well, going places that people from outside Nigeria wants to be.
How do you define good music? : Well, for me, good music is a combination of sounds, lyrics, so melodious that it passes a message to your soul, making you feel what you feel when listening to that music.
Why your choice of music? : My choice of music is what I call gift. I always feel alive with it.
What would you have been doing if you weren't doing music? : I will say fashion. I have the mind of an entrepreneur. So, I still have some other businesses in mind.

What is your greatest achievement so far? : I have achieved many things, but, I don't think I have the greatest one yet.  

What are your greatest challenges at the moment? : Fund has been my greatest challenge when ever I have got plan(s) to execute or exhibit.  

Where would you get to before you start considering yourself as a star? : I don't have to get to any level before seeing myself as a star because I'm a star already. Any level I get to, I will see it as progress or being successful.
Which artistes would you want to work with? : I have got so many artistes in mind to work with  but for now I'm still working on myself.  

Your role model(s): Well, I'm my own role model. But, P Square and Chris Brown I love some of the things they do and how they do it. 
What should be expected from you next year? : Expect my surprises.    

Facebook : Omeen Omeelin Anunobi 
Instagram : Omeenomeelin  

Sunday, 22 November 2015

Unsung : Anambra Exclusive Youth Choice Awards

Anambra Exclusive Youth Choice Award is the biggest award event in Anambra state and one of the biggest of such events in the South East of Nigeria. The award event is the brain child of Chika Nwachuku, a young and vibrant youth who saw the need to celebrate successful youths in Anambra state. In this exclusive interview, Nwachuku expresses how his team is dedicated to delivering the best award events and how it is their desire to reward the efforts of hardworking youths in Anambra. Have a nice read.

About yourself : I am Chika Nwachuku, a graduate of public administration, Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka. I'm Igbo and I am 22. 

What is AEYCA all about? : AEYCA is simply Anambra's Exclusive Youth Choice Awards. Awards that are the exclusive choices of Anambra youths. 

What inspired AEYCA? : What inspired AEYCA was a thought that sparked up in me sometime in 2013, a thought that wanted the celebration of the achievements of the youths. 

What are the challenges faced in organising AEYCA and how do you beat them? : The challenges faced are due to finance to implement the best mechanism for the event and also accessibility to persons, we have been improvising, raising funds from well wishers to make moves. 

What are the impacts you have made with AEYCA? : With AEYCA, the youths have their achievements celebrated, the youths get motivated. Job creation becomes more juicy. Generally, it has been motivating efforts,  it has also been getting the support of big corporations. 

What are the plans for AEYCA in subsequent years? : In subsequent years we want the government and more credible citizens of the state to be involved. We want a better representation and obviously a better taste of an award event. 

What should be expected in AEYCA 2015 that wasn't in AEYCA 2014? : In 2014, we didn't have a comfortable event centre like we do now in 2015. In 2014, we didn't have much guest appearances, we hope for a classic guest list this 2015. Also we know we will deliver a stronger and more exciting event this year. 

How do you manage the need to be credible? : How we manage the need to be credible is by actually being credible, following due process and being just with everyone, showing no nepotism and favoritism. 

How do you manage to make the public see your credibility? : The public sees our credibility in the choices they make. They nominated these achievers, it was a free nomination. And currently they are voting, it is being recorded, the persons with the highest number of votes win the awards. 

What are the challenges of working with your team and how do you beat them? : Challenges of working with my team is the problem of equipping them well. The team wants to deliver an 'A-class' event. Though,  they seem to be 'C-class' equipped. They need to tour the state often to get the information they need. They don't have enough resources, though they are doing good with what they have. The team has learned to conform to challenges, the team was built on the premise of a "must deliver" ambition, this makes impossible not an option. 

How did the categories of the award come about? :  The categories of the award were formed through looking out for prospective sectors of life which the typical youth engage in. Fashion, education, music, media, business, skills, entrepreneurship, modelling, photography, and so on. 

What significant thing has being the brain behind AEYCA brought to you? : Being the brain behind AEYCA has come with recognition and responsibility. I try my best to maintain a balance. 

How does it feel celebrating successful youths and not getting much recognition let alone be celebrated? : Well, first of all, I get enough attention by being in the field, as a blogger at, and a rapper with the stage name,  ELARH. But I don't get a lot of awards. Lol. Sometimes, I think of it. Most times, I play my role. Maybe I'm to award people for now, later on people may award me. I am also the founder of an event management firm used for the awards, that is fresh dealers concepts. It is registered with the corporate affairs commission.

How do you manage to keep a low profile? : I keep a low profile by trying my best not to keep a loud profile. That's how the profile stays low, by keeping it low. All thanks to God.

How do you define success and happiness? : Success is achievement. Happiness is fulfillment. I advice to be happy rather than successful. That's where the true dividend lies, having and being fulfilled with your achievements. 

Your words to Anambra youths : My words to Anambra youths. Keep pacing in greatness, continue giving your time and energy to positive deeds. Efforts are being rewarded. Keep working hard , it pays. 

Twitter : @freshdealers

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Strong Weakness: The virile stunt

The story of the effeminate people haven't been getting much attention, even though it is a story that should be told. In August, I started a feature, 'strong girls' to share the story of these great people. And here again, I bring to you the heart breaking story of a young effeminate who has been through hell and back. His story is such a moving one, that would bring tears to your eyes. It is however, very exciting that Tochi Joel Praiz has decided not to be held back by his strong weakness. Read his story as written by him. Strong girl would from now be strong weakness, as strong weakness better reflects the situation of the effeminate people. Feel free to drop your comments using the hashtags below and holler if you have your own story to share. Do, have a nice read.

Being effeminate isn't as pleasurable as people think it. Actually, it's a burden borne either gallantly or cowardly. Unfortunately, our world has made it worse than sin. Going down to the contretemps undergone due to my feminity is quite demoralizing. I've been effeminate all my life, it meant nothing to me till I was in Basic 3, then it earned me the title "woman wrapper". My good academic performance wasn't noted as much because I was perceived to be that 'girl boy' who doesn't have much to offer. I was extremely bullied by my seatmate and I couldn't report because of the fear of  being slammed to fight back.

I got into high school with the thought of turning a new leaf. I tried so hard to portray some macho countenance but I loose it when I get to express myself. In a quest to be like the other guys, I detached myself from public activities. I dreaded assembly periods because the boys would always push me to the girls' line, it got so embarrassing that I retrenched and became a regular latecomer despite the punishment we got then.   I'd never forget my JS 2 class teacher, Ms. Racheal who outrightly hated me so much and constantly lambasted me because I flow way better with the girls than I did with the boys. As fictional as it seems, my grades were denied which I never knew till we had a new teacher. Being effeminate made me an introvert. It made me a 'sad' child; there was no one to see things from my perspective, no one to understand, it was quite autonomic. In SS2, I was robbed off a post and was bluntly told that I was too 'weak' to be in power cos I won't be able to control anyone nor command enough respect. I was bemused and traumatized. I was so embarrassed that I had to leave the school despite the fact that I had just 1 year left.

Being effeminate makes some persons exhibit intense hatred towards you, your peers pick on you because they want to see you 'bitch', so as to ridicule you; the list is endless.   March 23 2015, remains one very hideous day in my life, an event of both verbal abuse and thorough batter. Words aren't enough to explain how terrifying it was being stripped completely, dragged and humiliated. Yes! It did happen. That's the level of hatred we suffer from certain persons.

It's quite tearful that some persons took their lives cos they couldn't keep up with such callousness. The society has made being effeminate a living hell, phobia of being in the limelight because you are scared of your reputation being marred. I can go on and on.

Effeminate guys ain't weaklings, rather they are STRONGER, maybe not physically. They thrive amidst the hate, denial and all. I've been through more occurrences, I was broken but I'm still waxing strong. It's suicidal when your loved ones understands nothing about your demeanor. It's suicidal when you also lose them due to your effeminate traits. I lost confidence in myself and in public, I participated in nothing extracurricular, I drown my opinions inside of me because of the fear of losing it while trying to express myself, I tried walking unlike my normal self, tried talking in an uncomfortable manner, tried doing some stupid things that doesn't interest me because I wanted to be accepted. My life wasn't mine, I was living my life for the public, I was trying to satisfy the public, I faked almost everything.

At some point, I gambled because all the boys in the class were doing it. Yet I'm not so flawless in pulling the virile stunt. Life didn't interest me as much. You dare not get so emotional publicly cos you'll be ridiculed, you just let them die down in there. Some persons isolate you because you are an element of 'embarrassment' to them. What a Life!!! That's how I grew into being a sadist.

Most annoyingly, it's difficult to embrace the fact that love isn't meant for me because no matter how hard I try, my trait will scare them away. I'm effeminate, I'm strong, I'm  a perfect prodigy; I'm Tochi Joel Praiz and I'm happy to have my 'Strong weakness'.


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Thursday, 19 November 2015

Ruined sex life

I wouldn't want to believe that it was my beauty that attracted me to my father who was the first man to defile me. I was still a child then, and it continued till I became a teen, till he died. I wonder why my mother didn't notice. I wonder if my father knew he contributed to ruining my sex life.  

The other person who contributed to ruining my sex life was my boyfriend. Then I was sixteen. He raped me, him and his friends. I had started dating him because he was different, rather, I thought him to be different. He wasn't like other guys who seem to be only interested in sex. I had gone to visit him, he told me he was alone, but somehow, two other guys joined us, I struggled to leave unhurt and not to be stolen from myself. How could I fight three guys? How wouldn't I wake up and see myself in a hospital bed?  My mother was there, she knew what happened. How did she know?  She said I shouldn't ever remember that day. How wouldn't I? She also said I should forget everything that might have happened to me and live my life to the full.  

It sounded so easy for her. She wouldn't know what it is like. How do I explain to her that I have slapped more than ten guys at different times because they did things that triggered the memory? If only she knew that the three times I have claimed to be involved in accidents were all lies. I had been beaten by guys who couldn't bear to have a girl slap them. Which guy would bear to be slapped just after hugging a girl or patting her back or robbing her hand. 


Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Up and Coming : Jeff-Anthony Ojukwu

He loves everything about being a stylist and it has been his dreams. In this exclusive interview, Up coming fashion stylist, Jeff-Anthony Ojukwu who confessed to have Swankyjerry, Denola Grey and Davidson Frere as role models and to have worked with controversial actor, Benson Okonkwo; model, Chidiebere Godwin Maduagu and blogger, Agali Kosi talks about his love for styling and his desire to be one of the biggest name in the industry in the nearest future. Enjoy.

About yourself : I am Jeff-Anthony Ojukwu, 20years old,  a 300level law student and  a fashion stylist.
For how long have you been a fashion stylist? : For a year now.   

Have you always wanted to be a fashion stylist? : Yes it has always been my dream and goal.
At what point did you decide you were going to be come a stylist? : Right from secondary I have always had this dream of making people look good because I'm a very fashionable person.  

What about being a fashion stylist do you love? : The smart look and the happiness of the people I styled up is what I have always loved about being a stylist.  

What about being a fashion stylist do you hate? :  Nothing. I love every bit of it.
Have you ever felt that you shouldn't be a fashion stylist considering your academic ? : Nope, like I said it has been my dream. So I feel comfortable combining the both ( school and styling). 
Role models : My role models are Swankjerry, Denola Grey and Davidson Frere.  

Who are your three biggest clients? : Benson Okonkwo (nollywood actor), Agali Kosi (CEO Xpressafrica Magazine/ blogger) and  Chidiebere Godwin Maduagu (Face of Val Mr.Photogenic 2015).  

Which celebrities would you rather not style and why? : I can style anybody as far as he/she is paying me. 
Which celebrities do you wish to style? : I will love to style DJ spinall, Koredo Bello and Beverly Osu. 
How supportive are your family and friends? : Very supportive, I appreciate them all.   

Do you intend stopping to be a fashion stylist for any other thing? : For now I have no  intention  to drop styling for anything.  

What do you think of the Nigeria fashion industry? :The fashion industry has been growing from strength to strength both in local and international designs. I say kudos to those great men and women who have been working tirelessly for  the growth of the industry.  

Where do you see yourself within the next five years? : As a stylist and by God's grace, I see my job as the best and highly rated in Nigeria by the next five(5) years.  

Twitter: @jeffanthony2k1
Facebook: Ojukwu Jeff
Instagram: @mrrajasthan
BBM: 335964CC
Whatsapp: +2348152318212
Phone: +2348162492627