Saturday, 21 November 2015

Strong Weakness: The virile stunt

The story of the effeminate people haven't been getting much attention, even though it is a story that should be told. In August, I started a feature, 'strong girls' to share the story of these great people. And here again, I bring to you the heart breaking story of a young effeminate who has been through hell and back. His story is such a moving one, that would bring tears to your eyes. It is however, very exciting that Tochi Joel Praiz has decided not to be held back by his strong weakness. Read his story as written by him. Strong girl would from now be strong weakness, as strong weakness better reflects the situation of the effeminate people. Feel free to drop your comments using the hashtags below and holler if you have your own story to share. Do, have a nice read.

Being effeminate isn't as pleasurable as people think it. Actually, it's a burden borne either gallantly or cowardly. Unfortunately, our world has made it worse than sin. Going down to the contretemps undergone due to my feminity is quite demoralizing. I've been effeminate all my life, it meant nothing to me till I was in Basic 3, then it earned me the title "woman wrapper". My good academic performance wasn't noted as much because I was perceived to be that 'girl boy' who doesn't have much to offer. I was extremely bullied by my seatmate and I couldn't report because of the fear of  being slammed to fight back.

I got into high school with the thought of turning a new leaf. I tried so hard to portray some macho countenance but I loose it when I get to express myself. In a quest to be like the other guys, I detached myself from public activities. I dreaded assembly periods because the boys would always push me to the girls' line, it got so embarrassing that I retrenched and became a regular latecomer despite the punishment we got then.   I'd never forget my JS 2 class teacher, Ms. Racheal who outrightly hated me so much and constantly lambasted me because I flow way better with the girls than I did with the boys. As fictional as it seems, my grades were denied which I never knew till we had a new teacher. Being effeminate made me an introvert. It made me a 'sad' child; there was no one to see things from my perspective, no one to understand, it was quite autonomic. In SS2, I was robbed off a post and was bluntly told that I was too 'weak' to be in power cos I won't be able to control anyone nor command enough respect. I was bemused and traumatized. I was so embarrassed that I had to leave the school despite the fact that I had just 1 year left.

Being effeminate makes some persons exhibit intense hatred towards you, your peers pick on you because they want to see you 'bitch', so as to ridicule you; the list is endless.   March 23 2015, remains one very hideous day in my life, an event of both verbal abuse and thorough batter. Words aren't enough to explain how terrifying it was being stripped completely, dragged and humiliated. Yes! It did happen. That's the level of hatred we suffer from certain persons.

It's quite tearful that some persons took their lives cos they couldn't keep up with such callousness. The society has made being effeminate a living hell, phobia of being in the limelight because you are scared of your reputation being marred. I can go on and on.

Effeminate guys ain't weaklings, rather they are STRONGER, maybe not physically. They thrive amidst the hate, denial and all. I've been through more occurrences, I was broken but I'm still waxing strong. It's suicidal when your loved ones understands nothing about your demeanor. It's suicidal when you also lose them due to your effeminate traits. I lost confidence in myself and in public, I participated in nothing extracurricular, I drown my opinions inside of me because of the fear of losing it while trying to express myself, I tried walking unlike my normal self, tried talking in an uncomfortable manner, tried doing some stupid things that doesn't interest me because I wanted to be accepted. My life wasn't mine, I was living my life for the public, I was trying to satisfy the public, I faked almost everything.

At some point, I gambled because all the boys in the class were doing it. Yet I'm not so flawless in pulling the virile stunt. Life didn't interest me as much. You dare not get so emotional publicly cos you'll be ridiculed, you just let them die down in there. Some persons isolate you because you are an element of 'embarrassment' to them. What a Life!!! That's how I grew into being a sadist.

Most annoyingly, it's difficult to embrace the fact that love isn't meant for me because no matter how hard I try, my trait will scare them away. I'm effeminate, I'm strong, I'm  a perfect prodigy; I'm Tochi Joel Praiz and I'm happy to have my 'Strong weakness'.


You have your Strong weakness story to share, holler at,
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